I connected with the Warthog this evening,

as my day had been rather uneventful. As Andy shuffled around his cellar, I felt a slight tickle on my leg. Just as I looked down, a cockroach scurried its way down my ankle and onto the dusty, dirt floor. I shrieked in horror, and shuddered. Like a little girl I’ll admit. The Warthog turned to me gasping for air as he snorted his way to being able to breathe again.

“What are you afraid of one little cockroach? Most people aren’t afraid of just one. You should be afraid if this whole cellar was filled with them. Imagine that, just billions of little legs crawling behind your ears, and down your pants.”

Andy laughed as I quaked.

“That was the entire inspiration behind my Insecticide collection! What if insects were massive and bees had machine guns… then you should BEE afraid. Who’s to say there can’t be this insane, f*cking world is just filled with insects, like aliens, that are just waiting to come over here and prey on squeamish little humans like you. I mean it’s not that far fetched. Who knows whats going on behind the scenes. Area 51 could have an entire unit filled with horrifying insects, ready to fight the next war. That’s the beauty of this collection. It is filled with never ending, absurd insects, like a buff grasshopper! Would you fight a buff grasshopper? I think I would put money on the grasshopper in that fight.”

I laughed as I swiftly exited the cellar, thinking, he’s probably right, my money would be on the grasshopper too.


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